Friday, July 21, 2006
21st July 2006 - Thinking mood...
well well... ms chrissy nana is in a thinking mood again.. boo boo boo....
many things to think of...
happen to talk to many sensible pple recently too.. well... i cant exactly define 'sensible' but probably just some pple who can thinks better? aiyah whatever...
was msn-ing with junhao sir yest... the conversation first started off with the present work.. and after that to further studies.. well indeed he's so pro in it.. he can tell me so many many things about furthering studies... no doubt i always look up to him as such a respectable senior/mentor in sjab.. 3 cheers to u~..
sun after the fang sheng session... i came to a decision to have some resolutions for myself... to focus more on myself instead of other issues that probably dun even require my attention too... and later in the day i happen to read on the horoscope on the friendster... it said the same thing...'focus more on urself......'.... kinda accurate i think.... and on another occasion.. i was talking to amy on msn... i told her some stuffs... which i think to a certain extend.. i felt it was a selflessly act... and later.. i read on friendster horoscope again.. it claim that i'm a very selfless person on that day~!! cool cool...
my resolution... a couple of it.. not exactly not fulfillable... but for the chrissy at this point of time.. it takes awhile.. really quite awhile... to accomplish what i want for myself... well.. it takes time.. so give me time...
it's about time to really sit down n think thru... what i want... what i deserve.. and how should i go about it... too many priorties in my life now... time to sit down and really think which are the real priorties... and recently keep having this though coming to my mind.. to let go of SJ... what will happen... is it worth it..? i dunno.. seriously i dun have the answer to that.. just feeling that probably i should take a break.. or rather i need a break from it... well.. again.. give me time.. till end of the year.. after dec.. prob i'll take a long long break.... that's if everything goes well...
spoke to alicia days back... think after so long.. it's the first 'intensive heart-to-heart talk'? i think so lar.. talk on a couple more serioues note issue... well.. then i asked her...'alicia alicia... do u think nana has change?'... her answer was 'yes...more matured..know how to think reasonably..but still tends to keep things to ownself... (and let's include the last part being irrational)'... well.. nice to hear her answer n explaination.. at least it's not something unpleasant that's from her.. last thing i want from my dear friends... but well..i always feel tat i can think reasonably... and im glad that i've change for the better too... boo boos!
think chrissy really is much more of a thinker now.. not as crazy as what i'm in the past... and in the process of growing up, it doesn't allow me to do so either.. instead i've to be more uderstanding and sensitive towards the surrounding pples, beings, things, etc...probably times is really different.. now working life dun allow me to be as crazy as im in the past.. meet up/gathering times with friends is way too too too little... boo boo.... i wonder how are all my friend doing...good? bad? but somehow life now is good... coz chrissy is learning to appreciate... appreciating pple around her more... coz chrissy seems to be missing many of the old time friends too... people who were important to her at different point of time of her life... appreciating the importance of these pple and how life would have be so different without them.. appreciating what they have done for her.. appreciating them for being there for her... i appreaciate becoz i care.. and i miss becoz i care too..
yienshan... what exactly happen? no quarrels.. nor argument.. no disagreement... nothing.. just what exactly happen... the friendship seems to be drifting apart.. further n further... probably we're just very busy with our own stuffs now... but well... you're just in and out of my life... never have to think about how you're doing... coz i know you'll always lead a very interesting life...
marx... a very special friend... even after so long.. though we hardly contact... for an instant though.. i almost thought that we're living in different part of the world in the last few years... the thought of you brings back alot of memories... the times when we indulges in smses and teleconversations... you talking to me with ur very 'ah pek tone n thinking...' ...how have you been recently? what have you been doing? is everything good? it seems like you're not doing too well this few days? i dunno.. i think so... would really want to know more about the recent you... probably you're just too busy.. and im just trying too hard... and yeap.. i still waiting for ur chance to catch up with me... but well... at least you were once dearly to me... and now you still do...
prissy... u're like so near yet so far.... but still i remember all the yeo's ice-lemon tea.. chicken noodle.. and ur fav 'international ah gua'colour, etc...
ysl.. you've changed too after the recent issue.. probably you're just another man that i knew of to keep everything to yourself...
these are just the few more distinctive pple i cant rmb for now... sometime i just hope that i can do more with what i'm doing now... 24hrs is too little.. chrissy is too lazy.... chrissy is too busy... chrissy has got too many things to look into... life life life... aaris jie ask me yesterday.. what exactly do we want in life for giving so much in our work, life, etc? i dun have the answer to it.. standard model answer would have be 'for a better life'... but this is so not true.. coz the more we persist.. the more worries you have...
went for a dharma teaching talk last night... 1 of the ques asked was what exacly is emptiness? is it present or is it not? i personally thinks that emptiness is a mental state cause by physical form... it can be there.. it may not too.. it depends... well.. will think of this ques again... den i'll come up with a better answer... oh ya.. i mentioned that i wanna be a holy shit rite? it's actually just one of my resolution lar.. i want to indulge myself more into my religion... to calm and settle down my mind... i need the teachings from there... till then den can chrissy fulfill another resolution of her... to be a better girl/person....
Random Quote:
"I shall bear in mind to be grateful for the acts of love and consideration shown to me no matter how small they appear to me.
For those I love and those who love me, may this life be a blessing and a source of happiness to all beings.
- Ven. K Sri Dhammananda"
okok.. shall stop here.. this entry is getting too long too boring....
*Thinking* Toast
well well... ms chrissy nana is in a thinking mood again.. boo boo boo....
many things to think of...
happen to talk to many sensible pple recently too.. well... i cant exactly define 'sensible' but probably just some pple who can thinks better? aiyah whatever...
was msn-ing with junhao sir yest... the conversation first started off with the present work.. and after that to further studies.. well indeed he's so pro in it.. he can tell me so many many things about furthering studies... no doubt i always look up to him as such a respectable senior/mentor in sjab.. 3 cheers to u~..
sun after the fang sheng session... i came to a decision to have some resolutions for myself... to focus more on myself instead of other issues that probably dun even require my attention too... and later in the day i happen to read on the horoscope on the friendster... it said the same thing...'focus more on urself......'.... kinda accurate i think.... and on another occasion.. i was talking to amy on msn... i told her some stuffs... which i think to a certain extend.. i felt it was a selflessly act... and later.. i read on friendster horoscope again.. it claim that i'm a very selfless person on that day~!! cool cool...
my resolution... a couple of it.. not exactly not fulfillable... but for the chrissy at this point of time.. it takes awhile.. really quite awhile... to accomplish what i want for myself... well.. it takes time.. so give me time...
it's about time to really sit down n think thru... what i want... what i deserve.. and how should i go about it... too many priorties in my life now... time to sit down and really think which are the real priorties... and recently keep having this though coming to my mind.. to let go of SJ... what will happen... is it worth it..? i dunno.. seriously i dun have the answer to that.. just feeling that probably i should take a break.. or rather i need a break from it... well.. again.. give me time.. till end of the year.. after dec.. prob i'll take a long long break.... that's if everything goes well...
spoke to alicia days back... think after so long.. it's the first 'intensive heart-to-heart talk'? i think so lar.. talk on a couple more serioues note issue... well.. then i asked her...'alicia alicia... do u think nana has change?'... her answer was 'yes...more matured..know how to think reasonably..but still tends to keep things to ownself... (and let's include the last part being irrational)'... well.. nice to hear her answer n explaination.. at least it's not something unpleasant that's from her.. last thing i want from my dear friends... but well..i always feel tat i can think reasonably... and im glad that i've change for the better too... boo boos!
think chrissy really is much more of a thinker now.. not as crazy as what i'm in the past... and in the process of growing up, it doesn't allow me to do so either.. instead i've to be more uderstanding and sensitive towards the surrounding pples, beings, things, etc...probably times is really different.. now working life dun allow me to be as crazy as im in the past.. meet up/gathering times with friends is way too too too little... boo boo.... i wonder how are all my friend doing...good? bad? but somehow life now is good... coz chrissy is learning to appreciate... appreciating pple around her more... coz chrissy seems to be missing many of the old time friends too... people who were important to her at different point of time of her life... appreciating the importance of these pple and how life would have be so different without them.. appreciating what they have done for her.. appreciating them for being there for her... i appreaciate becoz i care.. and i miss becoz i care too..
yienshan... what exactly happen? no quarrels.. nor argument.. no disagreement... nothing.. just what exactly happen... the friendship seems to be drifting apart.. further n further... probably we're just very busy with our own stuffs now... but well... you're just in and out of my life... never have to think about how you're doing... coz i know you'll always lead a very interesting life...
marx... a very special friend... even after so long.. though we hardly contact... for an instant though.. i almost thought that we're living in different part of the world in the last few years... the thought of you brings back alot of memories... the times when we indulges in smses and teleconversations... you talking to me with ur very 'ah pek tone n thinking...' ...how have you been recently? what have you been doing? is everything good? it seems like you're not doing too well this few days? i dunno.. i think so... would really want to know more about the recent you... probably you're just too busy.. and im just trying too hard... and yeap.. i still waiting for ur chance to catch up with me... but well... at least you were once dearly to me... and now you still do...
prissy... u're like so near yet so far.... but still i remember all the yeo's ice-lemon tea.. chicken noodle.. and ur fav 'international ah gua'colour, etc...
ysl.. you've changed too after the recent issue.. probably you're just another man that i knew of to keep everything to yourself...
these are just the few more distinctive pple i cant rmb for now... sometime i just hope that i can do more with what i'm doing now... 24hrs is too little.. chrissy is too lazy.... chrissy is too busy... chrissy has got too many things to look into... life life life... aaris jie ask me yesterday.. what exactly do we want in life for giving so much in our work, life, etc? i dun have the answer to it.. standard model answer would have be 'for a better life'... but this is so not true.. coz the more we persist.. the more worries you have...
went for a dharma teaching talk last night... 1 of the ques asked was what exacly is emptiness? is it present or is it not? i personally thinks that emptiness is a mental state cause by physical form... it can be there.. it may not too.. it depends... well.. will think of this ques again... den i'll come up with a better answer... oh ya.. i mentioned that i wanna be a holy shit rite? it's actually just one of my resolution lar.. i want to indulge myself more into my religion... to calm and settle down my mind... i need the teachings from there... till then den can chrissy fulfill another resolution of her... to be a better girl/person....
Random Quote:
"I shall bear in mind to be grateful for the acts of love and consideration shown to me no matter how small they appear to me.
For those I love and those who love me, may this life be a blessing and a source of happiness to all beings.
- Ven. K Sri Dhammananda"
okok.. shall stop here.. this entry is getting too long too boring....
*Thinking* Toast